1. Roll out of bed in your oldest milk stained shirt and team with some comfy pants.
2. Pacify baby on hip, at boob, in garden, on floor, in chair, in sling for approximately 6hrs.
3. In a moment of part insanity/part genius, take naked cranky baby and insert into the bottom of your shirt-taking care to put their head out through the pre-stretched neckhole (we want to pacify them not knock them out)
4. Baby should take immediate delight in the realisation that you are bra-less (as bras require two hands to put on~a rarity in the derelict mama household)and start boobing away.
5. You will become fascinated by your return to the blooming pregnant belly state and be forced to take photos from all different angles in order to capture this fleeting moment of mama goddessness.
6. You may or may not like to tie a belt or scarf under your baby's bum so you can go hands free.
It is advised though that you remove baby from shirt before he decides that the reason for his crankiness all morning was that he needed to do a really, really big shit!! :(
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